Why Making New Friends is Like Adding Spices to Your Life’s Biryani

Series General, Blog 2

The content of this blog is now available as a podcast too. If you are an auditory consumer of wisdom, listen to this scintillating exchange below:

Hello there, my new friend!

Let me ask you something: Have you ever eaten biryani with just one spice? No cardamom, no cinnamon, no cloves – just, say, a lonely little bay leaf sitting in a pot of rice? Sounds bland, right?

Well, life without new friends is pretty much the same. You’re stuck with the same old flavors, and let’s be honest, it gets boring after a while.

Now… I get it. Making new friends isn’t always easy. If you’re like most people, you’re probably comfortable with the friends you’ve known forever – the ones who’ve seen you cry over a broken pencil in Class 3 or laugh so hard that milk came out of your nose. But here’s the thing: life changes. You change schools, move cities, switch jobs, or just grow up. And suddenly, you’re in a new place, surrounded by strangers who might as well be aliens.

But... guess what? Those strangers could become your next best friends; your pressure cooker valves in this high-pressure cooker we call life.

Friends Are Like Pressure Valves: Keeping the Cooker from Blowing Up

Let’s face it: life today is like a pressure cooker on full steam. Exams, deadlines, competition, social media comparisons – it’s enough to make anyone want to scream. But friends? They’re the valves that let off that steam. They’re the ones who listen to your rants, share your joys, compare notes about your love or letch life, your secret nicotine puffs or “sprit” drags, and it’s they who remind you that life isn’t just about surviving; it’s about thriving!

And here’s the kicker: the more diverse your friends, the better your pressure valve works. Imagine having friends from different states, cultures, and backgrounds. One day, you’re sharing streetside choley kulchey with your friends in  Delhi, and another day having delectable idlis with your Tamilian buddy. Momos with Sikkimese friends in the Tibetian dhaba in MKT one weekend, or Luchi aalu dom with your Bong and Assamese friends the next. Suddenly, life isn’t just about your problems – it’s about exploring new perspectives, ideas, wisdom and, of course, food and drinks.

Growing Up in Assam: Making Friends Across Cultures

I was born and grew up in Assam, where a myriad of friends was practically woven into the fabric of our everyday lives. Whether it was playing gilli danda with my neighborhood gang, or “marbles” with school friend, or trying to enjoy the resplendent Bihu festivals with all kinds of friends, I found that the diversity of friends added richness to life.

My neighbors weren’t just neighbors; they were my extended family. And some of my most lasting friendships were made among local communities, who taught me how to embrace simplicity and value relationships over material things.

I am getting nostalgic about so many magical worlds I built with them all: whether when I shared a plate of sticky rice with pork and xaaz (a locally brewed alcoholic drink by some tribal communities in Assam) with my friends from the Bodo community or enjoyed a bamboo dance with a Mishing buddy, I realized early that friendship goes beyond language and culture! It’s about that shared laugh, that unspoken understanding, and that sense of belonging – no matter how different our worlds are.

The Boarding School Adventure: Friends from Every Corner of India

Growing up in a military boarding school was like living in a mini-India. I had friends from across the region the school was in, and then some – from Kashmir to Kanyakumari or Gujarat to Manipur; and let me tell you, it was a crash course in our country’s massive diversity. One day, I’d be learning Punjabi cuss words (don’t tell my mom), and the next, I’d be trying to wrap my tongue around Khasi (learnt a couple of unspeakable expressions there too).

There was this constant exchange of cultures – debates about food, arguments about who had the better traditional attire, and endless jokes about how my Bengali accent made me stand out while I spoke Hindi or English or Assamese, and in some case, sound melodious (or so they claimed!).

But here’s the best part: I didn’t just make friends – I made connections. I learned that friendship isn’t about finding people who are exactly like you. It’s about finding people who add something new to your life. Maybe it’s a new way of thinking, a new hobby, or just a new joke to laugh at. These friends became my lifeline, even when I moved to Delhi as a young adult. It’s because of those boarding school days that I never hesitated to walk up to a stranger and say, “Hey, how are you doing today? Want to be friends?” or “I love this bike you are driving. Can you give me some lessons on how to ride one?”

The Digital Dilemma: Are Screens Killing Real Connections?

I definitely need to talk about the elephant in the room: digital screens. We’re all guilty of spending way too much time scrolling through Instagram, Reels, or binge-watching Prime or Netflix. But here’s the thing: screens can’t replace real human connections.

Think about it. When was the last time you laughed so hard your stomach hurt? Or had a deep, meaningful conversation that left you feeling understood? Chances are, it wasn’t while staring at a screen.

There’s something about in-person connections that makes friendships deeper and more meaningful. You can’t high-five your phone, share a meal through a screen, or lean on a virtual shoulder when you’re down. And don’t even get me started on the decline of vivid imagination; most of my young friends these days don’t even know the joy of making up stories under a mango tree or playing cricket with a makeshift bat. We’re losing that magic, bit by bit! …sigh!

So, put down your phone (after reading this, of course) and go out there. Meet people. Talk to them. Laugh with them. Play Holi decently with them. Share sweets during Diwali. Dress up like Santa Claus and visit their homes during Christmas. Share sewaiyaan with each other during Eid. Go pandal hopping with them during Durga Puja. Dance endless Bihu with them during the Bihu festivals. Celebrate everyone’s unique cultures and festivals. Cry with them when they are sad and laugh with them when they are happy. Because… at the end of the day, life’s too short to spend it alone.

How to Make New Friends (Without Feeling Awkward)

Okay, I know what you’re thinking: “That’s great and all, but how do I actually do it?” Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered. Here are a few tips to help you make new friends without breaking a sweat:

1. Start Small: You don’t have to become best friends overnight. A simple “Hi” or “Nice shirt” can go a long way.

2. Find Common Ground: Whether it’s a shared love for chai or a mutual hatred for Monday mornings, common interests are the foundation of any friendship.

3. Be Curious: Ask questions. People love talking about themselves, and you might just learn something new.

4. Step Out of Your Comfort Zone: Yes, it’s scary. But remember, every friend was once a stranger.

5. Quality Over Quantity: It’s not about having 1,000 friends on Instagram. It’s about having a few genuine ones around you who’ve got your back.

Final Thought: Friends Are the Spice of Life

Making new friends isn’t just about expanding your social circle. It’s about expanding your horizons. It’s about learning, growing, and becoming the best version of yourself.

So, the next time you’re in a new place, surrounded by strangers, remember this: every friend was once a stranger. And every stranger could become a friend. All you have to do is take that first step.

Now, go out there and add some spice to your life’s biryani. Trust me, it’ll taste so much better.

Got a any memorable experience making a new friend and becoming besties? Drop it in the comments. I’d love to hear from you.